Fixing my Dialogue: Writing Brainstorm

Even now as I’m preparing to send my manuscript to a professional editor, I reached an interesting turn when I looked over a certain scene in my book that I felt, for a long time, was always lacking something.

It’s a massively crucial moment, not only in this book, but all sequels hereafter. Two of my biggest main characters meet for the first time, quite literally bumping into each other. Through a deal being struck, they must work together to help each other out. The scene has gone through many edits and changes, but now I am staring down the barrel of a potential re-write from the ground up.

It's nothing major, and the new idea I have in mind is exciting and refreshing, but I think it puts in perspective how far my quality of writing has ascended.

So today, I’m going to critically look inwards upon my own writing and see where I went wrong, which hopefully may inspire others to do the same.

The main trouble that I kept seeing over and over was the dialogue between the two characters. I had all the information for the scene at my disposal, but I made it bleed too much through the dialogue.

Secondly, my characters had goals to obtain over the course of the scene, but the conflict I built between them to resolve or not resolve it seemed forced. I realized I was steering the plot too hard to where I wanted it to go in, at the expense of jeopardizing the characters and their belief’s/morals.

For instance, Marcus is an innocent young boy with wanderlust and a sense of adventure, and wants something that the other character, Ronin, possesses that could help Marcus achieve his dreams. But Ronin is quite clearly wrapped up in criminal affairs, so it seemed forced even for Marcus to make a deal with a random stranger on the road who had just escaped a police patrol.  

As much as I knew that Marcus sees something good in Ronin, I realized I couldn’t ride on that reason alone.

But most importantly, my characters were talking in a vacuum. Marcus and Ronin had nothing else except the scene they stood in and each other. There weren’t enough factors in the scene that made it more interesting to read.

I focused too much on pure talking to drive my plot, too much internal work, and not looking at the world and problems around them. Looking externally.

So, I had Ronin suffer an injury that ensured that the two would have to travel together for medical aid regardless, so tending to an injury as they talked was one factor.

The second factor was that Ronin wants to cross the border between two countries without being found by authorities, but due to recent events, the borders are being locked down.

Marcus however, happens to know a desolate road that only he knows that bridges the two countries.

The third factor (which remained consistent even in early drafts) was that each of them had tangible and intangible things to offer the other for helping each other.

Instead of a deal loosely based in unnatural trust, it was based on necessity, Marcus and Ronin are destiny bound to undertake this journey/deal together. In other words, it’s a microcosm of their relationship throughout the hopeful rest of the series as they become closer. Brothers not by blood, if you will.

Think of some great scenes from a book or movie you recall, think of the characters and what they’re talking about. But most importantly, think about what they’re doing while they’re talking. If the writing is really good, what they’re doing may tie in metaphorically to what they’re saying. Or at least, offer some stimuli outside of their conversation.

Then, think of scenes where characters have nothing but themselves, trapped in that same vacuum I had begun with. They’re usually toward the end or third act of a story, when the emotional and plot-related tension is at its peak. Now there are no more hurdles or distractions, encouraging the audience to realise that this discussion with these characters, right now, is important. Listen.

And I think that was the problem with my scene. I jumped the gun too soon. After slaving over building my world so much, I didn’t use it in the scene. What Marcus and Ronin are saying in this scene is certainly important, but at the mid-point of the story, it simply needed more than just them talking. The adventure needed to conclude first. The loose ends tied.

I implore you to do the same with your own writing, even if your characters are just playing chess as they’re talking, or hiding their true intentions under subtext (another note for another time), these layers are so crucial, especially in a scene heavy in dialogue.

Seeing this and discussing it with myself and you the reader, has helped me see the weak points of this scenes that had evaded me for so long.

The mist finally cleared.

Thank you for reading and have a beautiful day!

• Daniel